Soft Skills….Do we have it in us?

“Technical skills will get you the interview while soft skills will get you the job”

It was a challenging day for Anchal Singal, who had to walk down for an interview. She is an engineering graduate, and was called for an interview by one of the software honchos. She took up the interview, and scored docile aggregate in the written. But somehow goofed up big time in the personal interview. It wasn’t for the first time but it was happening for the fourth consecutive time with her. It called for an introspection. When she approached her mentor, a kind of root cause analysis was done, and reached to the conclusion that she had all the pre-requisite for that technical profile still something lacked which could cement the impact. The lack of something which mitigated all the Hard skills(Technical Skills) and eventually nullified the overall count. The panacea is Soft Skills..

What exactly are soft skills???. If you talk bout someone’s personality in totality there are two major components. One is hard skills i.e. technical skills and the other is soft skills. Now –a days if you log on on to any of the job portals, there are regnant openings of Soft skill Trainer in the corporate houses. It’s a niche of one of its own kind wherein employers want a fecund and long time relationship with their co-workers and on the other hand it ensures a congenial environment for all the sub ordinates.

Soft Skills is a term borrowed from psychology, It an umbrella term which encapsulates effective communication skills, to develop affinity within the team, to emerge out as a strong team player. It is the acquisition of strong interpersonal skills so as to excel in objection handling. It’s to stretch the cerebrum antennae to foster critical thinking so that we can analyze, prioritize and evaluate our day to day decisions It enables us to customize seamlessly so as to make it impressive and negotiate well on pros and cons. It focuses on Communication Skills, Team Building. Time Management, Stress Management, Personal Effectiveness, Problem Solving techniques, Crisis Management and Conflict Resolution

Our voice is also a true reflection our persona. The vivid characteristics of our voice like tone, pitch, modulation, throw, ROS(Rate of Speech), enunciation defines one’s insight to a great extent. I am sure we must have witnessed many a cases wherein the person might seem to be very shabby, but the perception changes once she/he starts speaking. Tone reveals about the approach and attitude and unveils the energy levels. It covers the verbal handshake, empathy, politeness.

Establishing rapport also comes in from this domain only as it the proactive approach which helps in identifying the needs of one’s target audience and then probably establish a frame work so as to exactly fit in to theirs customer’s need. It’s imperative to understand how to customize, as we meet zillion people and people come from different mental background and have their own sets of values. This helps on gauging the interest and helps in building strong interpersonal skills and that’s we can cultivate strong motivating skills. Lets take an example over here, there are situation in our life when we feel extremely low and we feel like talking to a person who might not solve our problem but still it’s a solace.

Have we ever heard of the term “small talk”. It just helps you to be distinctive. It about how to start and to learn to pay and to receive compliments. It’s nothing but is a social skill which identifies the gap in the conversation and to fit in aptly in accordance with the need of the hour. Its similar to the elevator speech. We meet people in the elevator for fraction of seconds, while going to our respective floors in the office, we exchange smiles, utter a word or two and that’s how we connect. But we have to be very cautious in this regard as at times it may be just not required. We have to foresee the situation.

Is listening a part of soft skill??? Yes it is indeed. When we talk about listening…have we ever noticed that there is much difference between hearing and listening? Listening is to pay attention, to interpret while hearing does not involve much mental process. Listening is one of the important components of soft skills. The best kind of communication is to listen to the unsaid, to understand the sign language body language and gestures. It is to read between the lines

In an interview we really do not have to be a malapert, rather we just have to be a spot on so that we do not miss on our ultimate goal. Soft skill is not a rocket science. A social skill helps us to emerge as an outstanding personality and a strong professional.

The niche @ workstation ….. The extended me

If we introspect, we have often seen that we strike a chord with someone only when our frequency matches, or may be with someone who thinks alike. As a human nature, some or the other way, we think only what we want to think .We are happy to see what we really like. That goes very much inline with the selective perception. It doesn’t matter even if you love your job, but still you would rather want to be elsewhere than working. The fact is that we spend a good deal of time or may be a substantial portion of our lives at work. So why not to have a workstation which is slightly more welcoming than the usual ones? The reason being it’s soothing and creates an ambiance which you like the most. In many jobs, the employees are allowed to personalize their own workspace. It helps to accelerate the morale and keep the workers happy. It can be the Bay, a section, a team, cubicle a workstation, or an office. It has been noticed that it actually helps the employees to minimize the stress during office hours.

Most of us want to see our reflection and may be we can say, in the sub conscious of our mind we try to find the extended me. The different versions of our likings in some or the other form makes us happy. The culture has become increasingly common for companies to allow their staff to explore their creativity through this. One feels pepped up when they come to their workstation and they see something which is just theirs. It sets the mood of the day and is an apt punch for one to gear up for the entire hectic working schedule. You might have people working in cubicles, individual workstations, separate offices or spaces divided by office partitions - whatever the layout of your fit-out and your staff, the ability to add a personal touch or object can aid stress relief and keep everyone happy.

It’s an initiative by the HR department to rejuvenate the working life in corporate, wherein the staff has to deal with the day to day pressure and with the deadly deadlines. At the same time one should keep in mind that this should not be overdone and must not be distracting for the rest of the colleagues.

It’s good to capitalize the concept of infotainment. The workstation can have the check list some dos and dont's , some important numbers which must be kept handy with a bent of creativity so as to encapsulate information with entertainment. For example, it has been observed that in people soft, the employees have to mark their attendance online. It’s just am matter of fractions of seconds, but the employees tend to forget it, so to be on a safer side a small note can be taped on the monitor screaming “ Mark your attendance, else you will not be paid for a day”. Here are certain more ideas for this tech-niche .

Let’s connect with the family and friends – This is an obvious one but having pictures of friends and family around can help with motivation and also act as stress relief. Small pictures can be taped to the corners of your computer monitor (be sure to check with your boss and to consult the company manuals about this kind of thing) or placed in frames if you have the space to put them at your workstation or desk.

Start a positive thought factory: Display some quotes emitting positively so as to create a positive and congenial environment. It is very imperative to feel positive so that it can give rise to the quality output as only a satisfied employee can yield best results. Positive quotes around you make you feel positive. A recent survey showed that 70-90% of us feel stressed at work and outside. Today's fast paced lifestyle is putting a toll on us. So it is completely on us whether to be in the stress blues or to come out of that through some inspirational and motivational quotes.
Books are embalmed minds: It would be good idea to arrange for a small shelf at your workstation as having books at your workstation can be a great way to relax on a particularly hectic or busy day at the office. One can read it just for a quick break from the usual schedule. If you take a few minutes out to read a page or two of a good book, or a chapter from something which has an inspirational value, you'll find it can easily boost morale and prepare you for the rest of the day. If space is limited then simply choose two or three of your favorites and have them nearby. If one’s job is creative in nature then keep design or relevant titles around that you find interesting so that they can be used aptly. These can help the writers or designer to enrich their experience with implausible ideas, which the job demands.
Give Theme: If the team wants to, a particular bay can be decorated according to a specified theme, which suits the work profile. For example the Quality Control bay can name their bay as “Zero Tolerance Zone” which means no scope for errors. And then the appropriate colors can be selected which complements the subject or the theme. Paste stickers of your name on your workstation.
Feel Rewarded: Display the pictures of your award wining ceremony, the memorable official trip. Create a achiever’s club wherein the success stories can be shared. Start with sharing the best practice so that the best idea can be replicated across the functionalities. Stick certificates and appreciation note by the seniors and other team mates
There are many options available for personalizing the workstation without overwhelming others around you. Discuss the limitations with your boss and add something of your own to keep you inspired and working hard and that’s how one can rejuvenate the office life.

Making the most of the interviews

Many a times, we have seen that we get rejected just because of the fact that we were not prepared for the interview. If we look back there are certain reasons to it. Let’s discuss some of the key points that decide the entry or exit of a candidate. When the interviewee plans to take up an interview, he is well aware of the fact that its really a hard nut to crack in this competitive world still why it happens as one fetches the fruit in the basket while the other person goes empty handed. How can the interviewee convince the interviewer that he is the right candidate for the job? Despite knowing the fact that there are some better candidates waiting in the queue. Let’s discuss some points about the interview techniques

It must start with greeting; a firm handshake can be an effective tool in setting the tone for the rest of the conversation. Be comfortable, sit smart and straight. Do not lean on the desk or slouching on the chair. Always make eye contact when you speak as it reflects confidence and holds conviction but avoid staring. Check unnecessary hand movement as body language says it all. If the body language is offbeat, it will be an obstacle.

Emphasis on what you know rather than what you don’t know. It is a myth that it’s wrong to say “I don’t know”. It is absolutely right to say so however one must check the manner in which it is being conveyed as one person can’t be expected to know everything.Update your resume and get some extra copies. Let’s take an arbitrary situation where an interviewer asks two questions simultaneously, the interviewee knows the answer of only one question. The better approach would be to tell first what he knows and then to confess that he does not know the other answer. The tone must complement the words, it good to carry a cheerful and energetic tone, however ensure that one must not be very casual. Avoid an overly soft or shy voice. You do not want the interviewer straining to hear you. Let it be a natural delivery, free of any MTI (Mother Tongue Influence) with a neutral accent. Avoid usage of fillers and fog horns. Fog horns are the incomplete sentences it creates distraction.

The attire hold a great importance in an interview because it the impression created, even before you speak and we know that our dressing sense says a lot about our personality. The attire should be subtle not very gaudy and one must feel comfortable in it. Female candidate can wear decent makeup however it must not be overdone

Do not regret later if you were not prepared, take time to review you own skills, experiences and qualities. It is better to have an idea about the organization and its major clients, which can be done by a quick website review of that organization. Its good to know about the work culture of the organization If you know someone, use your contacts to know about the culture.

Quantify your strengths such as the subject knowledge, the ability to prioritize, the problem –solving skills, the ability to work under pressure and to focus on project,
Your professional expertise, the leadership skills and the most important is the positive attitude. Do not just say it all, rather materialize these strengths by relating to the real situations which one must have handled in the previous organization. A person can not be perfect and it is impossible not to count on weakness however remember to say it positively. Tell your weakness as strength.
For example – Share the level of commitment towards the assigned work, which you expect from my co-workers, this leads to affects the interpersonal relationship but the outcome of the work will be satisfied.

Typical Questions

 About you
 Tell me about yourself - Bring me up to date with your CV?
 Why did you choose that particular degree program?
 What experience have you had that is relevant to this post?
 What would you consider your major achievements to date?
 Strengths and weakness.
 About the job
 What interests you about this job?
 What do you know about this organization?
 What other options are you considering?
 How do you see your career developing – 5 years?
 If you were asked to supervise, what be would be your plan of action, what all changes would toy like to incorporate?
 How would you handle cases of behavioral issues within the team ?


Before answering the questions, first of all listen to them carefully, seek clarification if required, keep the answers short, specific and crisp as Interviews are unlike the school examination which says the more you say, the better you’ll do. Interviewers do not spend all their time looking for your flaws. They are more interested in getting an overall picture of who you are. Avoid answering questions defensively. It’s much better to see every question as an opportunity to highlight your best points. One must know Know what you want to say, and find the opportunity. Give examples of adaptability, innovation, teamwork and ability to take initiative. Talk ‘we’ not ‘I’ while answering as it gives a sense of belongingness. It is very important to listen to the unsaid, by observing the body language of the interviewer also all Try to give a STAR response to situation based questions, as this will increase the probability of cracking an interview

If you are going to be a part of that organization in future, it is imperative to ask the right questions which may include different Types of projects & responsibilities. The Training programs, the growth path, career development opportunities, reporting structure, Performance appraisal. Once the interview is over you can do assess yourself by reviewing your own performance. Ask for the feedback on mail if possible so that the opportunity areas can be taken care off. Indicate that you look forward to hear from them and lastly take time to say thanks.

Success ladder via Internal Job Postings

Here comes the Senior Manager Quality, Sneha Mehta, a young achiever. If she looks back, down the line to her career path. It is just been six years of her tenure in this company. It has been a great leap from an executive to Senior Manager Quality. She joined, when she was just a graduate, but she performed extraordinarily and that is how, she kept on ringing the bell perfectly in time by minting the maximum possible opportunities available within the company. The life line to this marvelous growth path was Internal Job Postings. It seems to be a perfect anecdote of a successful growth path catalyzed by the Internal Job postings (IJP).

Now lets’ discuss what exactly IJP means? It is an internal Hiring Program, which is designed for the existing employees of a company to choose their areas of interest and switch to different jobs, within the same company. By this, an employee gets a new job profile in the same office. : This community believes that office & work issues can be best resolved with careful assimilation and examination of varied opinions. It as emerged as a strong tool to curb rising attrition rate in a condition, where employees want to upgrade their qualification. An accurate and a spot on performance oriented initiative by HR to ensure Employee Retention. it is a complete win-win situation for both, employees and employers. It rewards the experience and loyalty of the employees towards a company but one has to function, inline with the pre-requisites as it is not that easy. It can be a horizontal or a vertical movement depending on the situation. Horizontal movement refers to the movement on the same level but in the different area however vertical movement refers to upward movement or simply the hierarchical movement.

It facilitates the management to select a suitable person for a specific role within the same company, which can be accomplished easily because the management knows the strengths and the opportunity areas of his employees, as the candidate has already been judged on different parameters during his tenure. IJP(s) gears up the human resources to maintain the productivity at optimum level. This is to assist employees to reach their career goals, through internal promotion and transfer opportunities. It enables current employees to apply for any position available, within company. The best side of the story is that the position is not available for any outsider. It certainly generates a sense of belongingness in employees towards the company and hence they will be reluctant to switch to any other company. If an employee wants to switch to some other job, he would look forward for two benefits namely hierarchical growth and the other is monetary benefits and IJP(s) equip you with both these factors along with the bonus of a comfort zone of the same company. This enables improved employee motivation, e-sat and also provides an efficient, user friendly process that reduces the internal hiring time and joining formalities.

This cites how one can enhance ones’ qualification by attending different In-house training programs. The ultimate panacea is Distance Learning Programs. To encourage this and of course to retain the employees, many companies have their tie ups with different institutes so that the employees can enroll themselves with the required course. Certain percentage of fees is subsidized by the company. Performance management of employees can also be materialized by accrediting comparatively better subsidy to performers. This can also act as a strong motivator and moreover a healthy competition can be promoted amongst the employees.

Many courses are available in the market, which provide benefits to both employers and employees. Employees increase their knowledge, value to the company, and often their level of responsibility. This often leads to an increase in pay and/or benefits. Employers gain the services of a more highly trained employee, and save money on outsourcing costs. Both sides gain from the flexibility offered by distance learning. Recent trends show the companies are encouraging more and more employees for distance learning programs. A strong potential and better educated workforce can certainly be created through this. Management is even prepared to assist capable employees to improve their skills while still retaining them in the workplace.

So how does an employee come to know about an opening in his/her own company. Companies have their own way of floating an Internal Job Posting. It can be communicated via company’s intranet, mailers, corporate website, notice boards and monthly newsletters. Mails are also circulated to ensure that all employees are well informed about the postings

It is a reward and has to be monitored skillfully so that no non deserving candidate is promoted on the grounds of any kind of discrimination or out of sheer nepotism. At times it happens that a particular manager wants to promote a candidate because of his personal motives so the HR must keep a close check on such malpractices. The HR team must check any sort of anomaly to avoid any kind of disputes and the recruitment must be justified.

To be ahead in the race the employees must:
• Volunteered to do projects over and above ones Key Responsibilities Area.
• Worked overtime to meet the deadlines.
• Taken extra care to learn about the ''nuts and bolts'' of the company for which one works in order to gain perspective on where exactly one fits in the equation.
• Performed research about your company’s competitors and the well-being of the industry in general.
• Shared best practice.
• Initiated something yielding better production considering the economical aspect
• Kept apprised of current events of the industry.
• To know the position and its challenges before you are going to apply for.
Last but not the least; one must be able to quantify the work which he has done because management trust God for everything else they need data. So evaluate the work done during the tenure, quantify the quality and then demand the promotion.

Track records reveal that most of the big guns largely depend on internal job postings for getting the right talent with changing time. Now-a-days it is considered as the most preferred way of recruitment for various reasons. Though the concept of internal job posting is not a new one, however it has gained momentum due to increasing competition in the market. This has the cost saving advantage also which is achieved by minimizing the redundant steps in of the hiring process.

एक लम्हा अपना सा.......

मेरी चन्द मुट्ठी भर खुशियाँ , उसके हिस्से का थोडा सा खुला आस्मां और कुछ बिखरी हुई सी संवरती यादें ......पता है, कभी कभी ज़िन्दगी की कुछ सकरी गलियाँ आपको उस छोटे से वक़्त में , यूही जाने अनजाने में बहुत सी ऐसी खुशियाँ दे जाती है, जिनपर आपका हक तो नहीं होता है , पर फिर भी हम बेवजह बस थोडा सा लालची हो जाते है। अगर देखा जाए, तो ये लालच भी अपने आप में काफी इमानदार और मासूम होती है , एकदम वही लालच जिससे हम बचपन में धुप को अपनी अपनी मुट्ठी में कैद करने की नाकाम कोशिश करते थे। आज बचपन तो नही है लेकिन फिर भी , आज बरसों के बाद ऐसा लगता है की , गिनती के कुछ उधार के पल मिले है , कुछ ऐसा ही था वो मेरा एक लम्हा अपना सा.......

आज सब कुछ मेरा सा है , मेरे साथ सब मेरे अपने ही हैं ... मेरी कम चीनी कम चाय ...वो भी मेरे अपनेa बड़े सेa कप में , मेरी अपनी वही जानी पहचानी बारिश की आवाज़...........इस बार फिर से बारिश ने मुझे भिगो दिया, आज सब कुछ एकदम पहले जैसा है , आज फिर से क्यूँ मेरा यकीन दोहरा रहा है और कह रहा है की तुम ज़रूर आओगे ......

खुश हो गयी थी मैं क्यूँ यूहि, ये क्या मेरी बारिश में फिर से तुम आये हो ......धुन्दला सा क्यूँ दिख रहा है मुझे आज सब कुछ.....शायद मै भूल गई हूँ की इन बेरूह सी आँखों को अब कुछ नहीं दिख सकता ...सिर्फ महसूस हो सकता है एक लम्हा अपना सा। ...............

Three idiots reunion @ DC, Delhi

Oh my god, I will not exaggerate if I say I was dying to meet the another two idiots namely NTPC aka Anjali and the very museum like Handwash aka Shruti.Its been a long time that we haven’t seen each other. I resigned from HT in the first week of Dec. 2009, post which I met them in delhi just once before finally leaving for Lucknow , coz, I had to join another job so had to come back.

I had taken a full one week off. Although the visit to Noida, at my sister’s place was very objective as per my family. My Daa’d and my mom wanted me to see a guy so on the pretext of seeing another “Lallu” (that’s what I call all my perspective grooms), I also agreed coz I was dying to meet my remaining two idiots. We had spoken to each other for the ultimate rendezvous. Hey!!... Its gonna be lots of fun and full of masti..As I am a celebrity……hehhehe (just posing) so had to meet a lot of people . My two Bua’s family and some of my very close and kamine friends.

We decided to meet on Thrusday But there was one glitch, I had went on week days, although Saturday was also there but that was the last day. Anjali was fine as her status as of now is “Berozgaar” but madam Shruti had some problem as she had to go to office and to worsen the condition, she couldn’t ask for an off, specifically on Thursday as all the thursdays are suppose be the report submission day in her office.

We had to go to Shruti’s hostel at Mandi House to meet her as she threw a lot of (TANTE)tantrums stating that she can’t get an off. Lemme tell you one thing about this gal..She is so bad at convincing others especially two of us … she knew that we are not docile enough, but that day Anjali and I got surprised as she managed to convince both of us that she can’t get an off finally by any means. I had to do some shopping as I missed delhi’s shopping badly. So three of us decided that first of all Anjali and I will go to Shruti’s hostel for about two hours or so, will spend some time with her and then she will go to office and two of us will go for shopping. The plan was pretty simple, very much contradictory to our nature and our philosophy is that “mile to chutti nahi mile to ye lo GOLA”.

I badly missed roadside paranthe, chai, Maggie and needless to say fresh lime soda (salty) with my gang. A trifle from my side as well that I fast on all Thursdays, but as we often says “Exceptions are always there and Man changa to kathauthi me ganga”. I could find these two quotes apt for that particular day so that Thursday was an exception” as I didn’t fast.

Sad!! but no option left for us.. Anjali used to stay in pratap Vihar, Ghaziabad and I stayed at Indirapuram i.e. my place is on the way so I asked anjali to wait at a common place so that we could meet and board the metro for Mandi House i.e. Shruti’s hostel. As I was on the verge of crossing Kala Patthar a landmark, my vision got clearer. A madam fully wrapped in Red Dupatta covered herself as if like a Daaku hasina…..I couldn’t stop myself for hugging her tightly on the road ….U know one thing when u miss someone like hell and then u hug that person…it’s a divine feeling ..Totally out of the world….We were seeing each other after four months.Then we rushed towards Anand vihar metro station as we were getting very late. The reason was of course “I”….

U Know, there is a commonality in three of us, we three of us were forcibly single…that story we will share offline, sometime later…and another thing which was common in these two is “ZERO Balance” in their cell…….. they follow it strictly without no deviation. Bloody idiots saale ,./][>
We waited for ten minutes or so and we could see Shruti madam coming in, with her roommate Sania.….Oh my god …I was so happy that she had put on …hahaha…I was felling like a King, coz she always used to say “MOTI” to me…doesn’t matter even if I catch kwashiorkor(a malnutrition disease), she will still say the same to me. …aaahhhhhh it was a great moment…..finally we met……..three of us started observing changes in each other…Shruti and I have degraded and saali Anjali …oh goshh..m sure she had done a lot of homework on herself. She was looking hot…”Typical corporate types”.I was ok although Shruti couldn’t digest it…she started with her feeble objection handling dialogue that “mai to aise hi aagayi hun yaar nahai bhi nhai hun”.

It was a scorching day, but we stood under sun for five minutes. We kept on talking and no one noticed Sania, the other gal with whom Shruti came was feeling completely ignored. Generally we are nice people, but we did it again….. Wish we cud have a champagne to celebrate. doesn’t matter we had mineral water bottle. I opened the bottle and threw some drops at Shruti. Another problem, It was an auto strike in Delhi. So we had to walk down from Metro Station to the hostel.
The walk was really tedious as the weather was atrocious but Anjali and I acted like the opportunistic bacteria at that time and we utilized the 15 min walk in convincing Shruti to take an off. She kept on saying no and this time she was very adamant but we had strategy in our mind , we started off with confusing Shruti. A series of hit and trail methods were applied but what worked was “Emotional Blackmail”. I said very rudely to her “that’s how I mean to you, I have come form Lucknow to meet you and u bloody can’t take an off”. A lot of tonal modulation worked then she agreed but she said, " not sure". Somehow we dragged her from determined to the confused state .Anjali and I exchanged a winning nudge. The idea worked “If you can’t convince someone at least confuse them”.

After walk of 15 minutes, we reached the hostel, we saw a hefty and horrible lady, the warden, the looks were so deadly as if she is ready with the iron and is ready to give electric shock at Shruti’s ass. Well.. Shruti’s ass really needed it…Somehow we managed to get in for one and half hour. Now that was our turn the field had an elevation towards us and the ball was on the verge of moving into our court. The context was to convince Shruti for an off. We had thought of numerous plans but none got materialize.. The an idea’s bulb illuminated in Shruti mind and the excuse was the death of her religiou’s guru. To which she felt very guilty but lemme tell you the excuse was fucking awesome Man!!. and now it was the enactment of the script and she had to call her manager to tell the story..but the again the zero balance”. I am always the richest person as far as the balance was concerned as I had postpaid.

Finally we won as she succeeded in getting an off. Then we decided to go to the place where we have the Metro Route as that was an auto Strike, so we went to Janakpuri District Center. We started off with Roadside nimbu paani then we shopped a lot, ate, captured all good times. We spend money as it is going out of fashion…I exhausted my balance so we went to the ATM, praying to god that shruti’s salary is credited. Some of her salary got confiscated then and there. We had shopped everything right from tops to kutis, chappals, handbags, accessories and even decorative items. We left DC at around 6 PM. We all were getting late and the rush at metro station worsened the situation. I don’t know, why I had to go to Janpath now. But my friends never wanted to disappoint me so we decided we will just go for half an hour. We went there picked two tops from there and it was so late for Anjali and me as we had to go to Ghaziabad, but easy for Shruti as she had her stop after two stations only. Now it was a scene. We had 7-8 bags. We didn’t know whose stuff is kept in whose bag. Lemme take to to the scene.. We all were getting late we Continuous phone calls flashing on Anjali’s cell from Anuj, Anjali’s Bro, poor chap. Anjali kept on befooling him that it will take another 10 min while we didn’t even board the Metro and needless to say I was terrorized to see my cell ringing and it was my sister calling, who doesn’t entertain any excuse. We decied that one person will go to get tokens and the rest of two will arrange the stuff. Oh god that was hilarious and I could say so as I also witnessed coz I was the one who went for the token and I could see both of them sitting on the stairs with all the stuff and trying to sort which one is whose. So many people walking down the metro station looking at them as two rustics have got the first and last opportunity to shop. I got the tokens. We quickly got direct metro from C.P. to Anand Vihar. Shruti got down after two stations and we came home.

Such a memorable day. We meet to go depart again. I often say don’t expect friends when u grow old especially at office . We just get colleagues but I was wrong. I got my two favorite people.
Oh God!! I know… its just a compensation right in time for the irreparable loss that was caused to me.

Face of Surrogacy in India.....Lets salute all “TARAS”

Sabina and Tarun were happily married for seven years ..They had everything right in their life, the ample bank balance for all luxury, which one can think of………still a visible vacuum was there which was quite prevalent inside the walls of their house. They did not have a child, Sabina had three miscarriages in the last four years, She was advised by the doctor not to endanger her life and was strictly warned by the doctors against any such further cases, but the couple was dying to be parents. A poisonous feeling of being barren for the whole life was creeping in Sabina’s mind.The echos of cacophony of myriad dissonating emotions could be felt loud in their unsaid conversations across the corridors. Tarun thought for adoption but Sabina denied, as they wanted something of their own as bond of love and affection with a child comes only & only through your genes and your own DNA(s).

Then one of the common friends suggested them for the option of surrogate mother. That common friend seemed to be the miraculous messenger to the couple as now they have their own child. He is a grown up boy by now. The child has a nose and built like Tarun and Sabina feels great to see Tarun’s refection in him. Now the dining table looks perfectly complete. It’s a complete family now. Had Tara not agreed for bearing the child as a surrogate mother, the dessert of the couple’s life could have aggravated and we know only cactus breeds in the desserts. She gave them something for which they were yearning since long time. Something which can never be worded. Now Sabina could very much feel the most heavenly feeling of being a mother, which was almost not viable for her. Tara is not less than a God to the couple.A gift of motherhood from Tara to Sabina was like a full fledged rain in their barren life. Tara has the devout feeling that she could give the most beautiful and precious thing to the couple as a surrogate mother, and at the same time she got the payement for this so that she could touch some of the tentative equilibriums of her life as her family was undergoing a financial crisis. If we introspect, all such “Taras” should be amongst the highly respected women of the society.
We can relate to the depiction from movies namely Chupe-Chupke and Filhaal, wherin Preety Zinta and Sushmita Sen played the role of surrogate mothers. Although as far as this subject is concerned, the Indian cinema has withheld some of its pragmatic aspects. As in both the cases, the surrogate mothers didn’nt have a child already, wherin if we look at its legal aspect, Its mandatory for a perspective surrogate mother to have a child so that she has experience of delivering a baby and the affinity could be managegable with the second child.

As we know that surrogacy or surrogate means substitute which means using of a substitute mother in the place of the natural mother. So a Surrogate mother is a woman who agrees, usually by contract and for a fee, to bear a child for a couple who are childless because the wife is infertile or physically incapable of carrying a developing fetus. Often the surrogate mother is the biological mother of the child, conceiving it by means of artificial insemination with sperm from the husband. and the resulting embryo is implanted in the surrogate mother's uterus. Generally we can say that the uterus is borrowed for the development of embryo as the wife is not fit for bearing a child.It can be achieved by sexual intercourse, home artificial insemination and many other methods and techniques available at fertility centres.

When spoken to a few surrogate mothers, one of them said that they tell to their partners, some of them said that they do not disclose and tell the husband that the child did not survive post delivery. According to one survey conducted “With regards to whether or not the child should be told about his or her origins, 26 of them (77%) felt that the child should be told, while the remaining eight (23%) felt either uncertain or that the decision was not theirs to make. It is completely upto the discretion of the intended parents. None of them said that the child should not be told about the surrogacy.In India, according to the intended parents, the acquaintance with surrogate mothers banishes the very moment as soon as the child is handed over.

India has been identified as fecund market for surrogacy because of the comparitevely low cost. According to the report appearing in the website www.thedailybeast.com/blog, Indian surrogacy is now a half-billion dollar industry. Surrogate mothers in India cost considerably lower, about, a fourth of what it would cost in the U.S.The face of commercialized surrogacy is getting unveiled due to interference of legality and contracts. Its has been legalized since 2002 in India.

There are numerous circumstances and many complexities attached to it। Like any of the parties might withdraw post delivery one of the reasons could be that the intended parents wanted a baby boy and she is a baby girl even the surrogate mother mite withdraw on the basis of emotional grounds. Who will bear the cost if the baby does not survive immediately after delivery? What are the consequences if the surrogate mother dies during delivery? The Law Commission of India has submitted the 228th Report on “need for legislation to regulate assisted reproductive technology clinics as well as rights and obligations of parties to a surrogacy .”
“Mother” the name itself is sacrosanct then the question arises as to why surrogate mothers are not been respected in our society? People in India are not very much open to the idea of surrogacy due to social constraints and conservatism.

A tough valor is required to be a surrogate mother. As we say know, of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. A gift of motherhood can never be surpassed. Lets not attach blue musings to surrogate mothers; A dead vegetation has flourished again with the onset of a new life. Kudos to all surrogate mothers.